Paris Hilton Gave First Post-Jail Interview to Larry King

Paris Hilton BS’s Her Way Through Larry King

Paris Hilton made her grand appearance on Larry King last night for an entire nauseating hour. There were quite a few things that I’m calling bullshit on.

#1. She has a real opinion on Larry King.

She began the interview kissing Larry’s ass. When asked why she was doing the interview, she said,

I consider you an icon, and I really respect you, and it’s an honor for me to be here today.

OK, right! First off, I bet she’s never seen Larry King or CNN for that matter, and she also failed to mention how Larry King was the Hilton family’s third choice for the post-jail interview. Both NBC and Barbara Walters wouldn’t have her!

#2 She’s not a big drinker, and she’s never done drugs.

Larry asked her if she has a drinking problem to which she replied, “No, not at all”. She went on to explain that she really doesn’t care about it, and that she’s not that into it. Larry asked her about drugs at parties, and she shook her head “no” and went into a spiel about people making up stories about her.

I don’t buy it. She’s not into drinking? That’s like saying my dog isn’t in to that little bit of fat from my steak. And, sure, I haven’t seen a picture of her doing lines like Lindsay Lohan, but I’d bet my bottom dollar that she has indulged in a little chemical-assisted recreation.

#3. She’s doing a couple of movies this summer.

Larry asked her if her career is back on track, and she said that she’s doing another season of the Simple Life as well as a couple of movies this summer. Larry said, “Movies too? Signed and Sealed?” She hesitated, and nodded “yes.” She was lying obviously. Nothing shows up on IMDB either. So unless she’s talking about another sex film, I don’t think she has anything lined up.

#4. Paris is religious and read the Bible a lot in jail.

Paris claimed to be religious and said that she read the Bible a lot in jail. But when Larry asked her what her favorite Bible passage was, she looked down, searching, trying to think of any verse. But there was nothing. She said that she didn’t have a favorite. Uh-huh. She couldn’t even pull out John 3:16.

So the interview finished, and I hope we don’t have to put up with any more of this garbage. I’m sure she won over a fair amount of people in America, which she set out to, but not me.