Inside Paris’ Nightmare

Paris Hilton’s Mug Shot

TMZ claims to have “multiple inside sources” giving them the goods on Paris Hilton’s incarceration. Are they guards? Are they inmates? Are they…made up? Regardless, it’s still fun to imagine what they are saying is accurate.

Paris has been crying on the phone, saying she’s not sleeping or eating. Paris says her cell is “freezing cold.” She has three little blankets and no pillow. She’s using one of the blankets as a pillow. The room is bright and jail noise echoes through her space.

Sleep isn’t the only problem. Paris says she has no appetite and has eaten almost nothing.

On the other hand, everyone seems to be treating her well, at least according to the report. She’s even gotten a “Paris”, “Paris”, “Paris” chant as she walked down the hall, for which she smiled and waved. Awww, some things never change. Other people have been dropping by her cell to say hi, and some have given her things like a drawing pad and an origami butterfly made from a magazine page. Hopefully it was from Glamour rather than Newsweek so that when she unfolds it, she has something to read.

Do You Get Pleasure from Hearing about Paris’ Misery?

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